A Letter to Every Woman Who Has Ever Loved Like a mother...

"Every version of this story deserves to be seen. Every one of you deserves to be celebrated."

"Mother's Day is not one feeling. It is a whole constellation of them, joy and grief and love and ache and pride and longing, all in the same breath."

Hey Sunny, 💛

On Sunday, we celebrated mothers and mother figures everywhere. And I sat with that for a while because "mothers" is such a big, layered, complicated, beautiful word. It holds so many different stories. So many different kinds of love and loss and longing. And I didn't want to write a post that only spoke to one version of that. I wanted to write something that reached every single person who needed to feel seen this Mother's Day. So, this one is for all of you. Every last one. 🌸

Mother's Day is one of those days that sits differently for everyone. For some it is pure, uncomplicated joy, flowers and breakfast in bed and children's drawings stuck to the fridge. For others it is tender and complicated and full of feelings that don't fit neatly into a greeting card. For others still, it is simply hard. Quietly, privately, achingly hard.

This post holds space for all of it. The joy and the grief. The celebration and the healing. The women who are celebrated loudly and the ones who are celebrating alone. The ones who have their mothers and the ones who have lost them. The ones raising children and the ones who have been raising everyone else for years without anyone thinking to hand them a flower. All of you. This is for you. 🌹

✦ ✦ ✦

To the mothers 🌸

the ones doing the most extraordinary ordinary thing...

"She poured herself into another human being and somehow, miraculously, never ran out. That is the quiet miracle of motherhood."

To every mother reading this, the ones with newborns who haven't slept properly since last year, the ones with toddlers who have somehow turned the living room into a demolition site, the ones with teenagers who are simultaneously driving them crazy and breaking their hearts with how fast they are growing, I see you.

Motherhood is one of the most extraordinary things a human being can do. Not because it is glamorous, it is frequently the opposite of glamorous but because of the depth of love it requires. The kind of love that gets up at 3am. The kind that worries even when everything is fine. The kind that gives and gives and gives from a place you didn't even know existed until the moment it was needed. You are doing something remarkable. Even on the days it doesn't feel like it. Especially on those days. Happy Mother's Day. 🌸

To the Eldest Daughters 💚

I see you. I really, truly see you...

"She grew up holding everyone else together. Nobody asked if she needed holding too. She did. She still does. She deserves to be celebrated."

Eldest daughter, I see you. And I want to say this loudly and clearly:

You deserve to be celebrated today too. You took on responsibilities that were never yours to carry. You became the extra parent, the emotional anchor, the one who figured things out so nobody else had to. You gave up parts of your childhood quietly, without fanfare, without anyone fully understanding the weight of what you were holding. That was not small. That was enormous. And it deserves flowers too. 💚

There is a very specific kind of exhaustion that comes from being the eldest daughter, the kind that lives in your bones from years of being needed before you were ready. The kind that makes you brilliant at caring for others and terrible at letting anyone care for you. The kind that means you are still, even now, the first one people call when something needs sorting. (Don't worry, as your fellow eldest daughter, I completely relate🥹🫶)

You are allowed to put it down. You are allowed to be cared for. You are allowed to be the one who receives today instead of the one who gives. You mothered people from a very young age without choosing to. That counts. That has always counted. Happy Mother's Day, eldest daughter. You are seen. You are celebrated. You are loved. 🌿

To Those Grieving Their Mothers 🕊️

for the ones whose love has nowhere left to go...

"Grief is just love with nowhere to go. And on Mother's Day, that love is louder than ever. Let it be. It is not weakness. It is devotion."

If you are moving through this day with a heavy heart because your mother is no longer here, whether you lost her recently or years ago, whether the grief is raw or has softened into something quieter. this space holds you gently today.

✦ ✦ ✦

You are allowed to grieve today. You are allowed to miss her completely and without apology.

You are allowed to look at the flowers in the shop and feel the particular ache of having nobody to give them to.

You are allowed to find the day hard.

Your love for her did not end when she did. That love is still real. It always will be.

✦ ✦ ✦

To those who have also lost a mother figure, a grandmother, an aunt, a friend who mothered you, your grief is just as real and just as valid. There is no hierarchy of loss. What mattered to you, mattered. 🕊️

To Those with Broken Relationships 🌾

for the complicated ones, the ones nobody talks about....

"Not every mother-child story is a soft one. Some are complicated and painful and full of things that deserved to be different. That grief is real too."

To those whose relationship with their mother, or their child, is broken, estranged or deeply complicated: this day can feel like salt in a wound the world doesn't know you have. Everyone around you celebrates and you carry something nobody can quite see.

You are allowed to grieve a relationship that is still technically alive. You are allowed to mourn the mother you needed but didn't have. You are allowed to grieve the version of the relationship you hoped for. That grief is not disloyalty. It is not ingratitude. It is the honest, human response to love that was complicated or painful or simply not enough.

And to mothers whose relationships with their children are fractured, who carry that particular, private heartbreak, you are seen here too. Healing is not always linear. Some relationships need distance to survive. Some need time. All of them need compassion, including the compassion you extend to yourself. 🌾

To Those Who Grew Up Without a Mother 🌊

for the ones who had to figure it out alone...

"She grew up learning things the hard way because there was nobody to teach her the easy way. She became her own guide. She became her own home."

Growing up without a mother, whether through loss, abandonment, illness or circumstance, leaves a specific kind of gap. A gap that shows up in unexpected moments. When you needed someone to teach you things. When you looked around and everyone else seemed to have a blueprint you were never given. When you had to figure out, quietly and alone, how to be in the world.

You did that. Without the map. Without the safety net. You figured it out. You showed up for yourself in the absence of someone who should have shown up for you. That is not nothing. That is one of the most quietly remarkable forms of resilience I know. Today, on Mother's Day, I want you to know: the love you never received was not a reflection of your worth. You were always worth loving. Always. 🌊

To the Expecting & Pregnant Mothers 🌱

for the ones already in love with someone they haven't met yet...

"She is already a mother, in the love she carries, in the plans she makes, in the way she talks to someone the world hasn't met yet."

To every pregnant and expecting mother, you are already doing it. The love, the hope, the careful tending of something precious and new, that is motherhood in its earliest, most tender form. The midnight worries, the wonder, the strange and beautiful experience of making space in your body and your life and your heart for someone who is entirely new to the world.

You are already a mother. Happy Mother's Day. The journey you are on is extraordinary. The love you already feel is real. And the person growing toward you is going to be so lucky to be loved by you. 🌱

To Those Who Have Lost a Child 🕊️

for the love that never got enough time...

"She is still a mother. She will always be a mother. The love does not end with the loss. It never does."

This section I write with the most tender care, because there are no words adequate for this particular grief. To every mother who has lost a child, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss or at any point after, you are still a mother. That love you carried is real. That life mattered. You mattered as a mother, regardless of how briefly or how long.

Mother's Day can feel impossible when your arms are empty. The world celebrates around you and you carry something so private and so heavy that most people will never fully understand. You do not have to celebrate today if today is not a celebration. You are allowed to feel whatever this day brings. And you are loved and seen and held, even from here. 🕊️

To the Women Who Showed Up as Role Models 🌻

the aunties, the teachers, the mentors, the ones who stayed...

"She was not always called mother. But she showed up like one. She made a difference she may never fully know the size of."

To every woman who has impacted a younger woman's life, the aunties, the teachers, the older friends, the mentors, the women who noticed and showed up and stayed, you matter more than you know. The things you said that someone is still carrying with them. The way you showed them what it looked like to be a woman who knows her worth. The safety you offered when home didn't feel safe. The doors you held open. The example you set, just by living honestly.

Mothering is not only biological. It is any act of consistent, caring presence in a young person's life. And some of the most formative mothering that happens comes from women who never carried a child but carried people anyway. You deserve to be celebrated too. Loudly and with flowers. 🌻

To Those Who Want to Be a Mother Someday 🌷

for the ones already dreaming of a love they haven't met yet...

"The love she feels for a child she hasn't yet held is already real. Already vast. Already enough to fill a whole future."

To every woman who carries the quiet dream of motherhood in her heart, who imagines it, hopes for it, plans for it, your longing is valid and your dream is beautiful. Whether that motherhood comes soon or takes longer than you hoped, whether it comes through biology or adoption or fostering or love, the desire to nurture and love a child is itself a kind of tenderness worth honoring today.

This day sees you too. Not as a "not yet" but as a "someday" that is just as real and just as worthy of celebration as any other version of this story. Your future child is going to be so loved. I just know it. 🌷

Self-Care Tips for Mothers & Mother Figures 🌸

We talk so much about what mothers give. We talk so much less about what they need. And they need things, real, specific, non-negotiable things, that are not selfish to ask for and not optional to receive. Motherhood at its best is sustainable. And sustainability requires self-care. Here are some gentle reminders, for the mothers, the eldest daughters, the mother figures, the grieving, the expecting, all of you. 💛

🛁Protect your rest~ Sleep is not a luxury. It is a biological necessity. Ask for help. Accept it. Rest without the guilt that has been sold to you as virtue. A rested mother is a present mother.

🚶‍♀️Take up physical space for yourself~ A walk alone. A workout you actually enjoy. Time in your body that is purely for you, not to look a certain way, but because moving feels good and you deserve to feel good.

📓Name what you are feeling~ Mothers are often expected to process everyone else's emotions and set their own aside. Journal. Talk to someone. Give your feelings the same space you give everyone else's.

🚫Say no without the explanation~ You are allowed to decline things. Not every request deserves a yes. Not every yes deserves a full explanation. No is a complete sentence and a deeply self-loving one.

💬Ask for what you need~ The people who love you cannot read your mind. Tell them what you need, specific, clearly, without shrinking. Asking for help is not weakness. It is wisdom and self-respect.

🌿Tend to something that is just yours~ A hobby. A friendship. A creative outlet. An interest entirely unconnected to your role as a mother. Something that reminds you that you are a whole person beyond your giving.

🧠Take your mental health seriously~ Postpartum depression, caregiver burnout, grief, anxiety, these are real, they are common and they deserve professional care. Seeking help is one of the bravest things a mother can do.

💌Receive love gracefully~ When someone offers you care, help or appreciation, receive it. Without immediately deflecting or minimizing. You are allowed to be on the receiving end of love. That is not selfish. That is human.

🎉Celebrate yourself~ Don't wait for someone else to acknowledge what you do. Celebrate yourself. Spoil yourself. Recognize your own effort. You see what you do better than anyone. Give yourself the flowers.

🤝Build your village~ Motherhood was never meant to be done alone. Find your community, online or in person, where you can be honest about the hard parts without judgment. Your village matters. Build it intentionally.

To my sunnies 🌸...

"To every woman reading this today, in whatever version of this story you are living, you are seen, you are celebrated and you are so deeply loved."

This post took a while to write because I kept thinking about all of you, the different places you are reading this from, the different feelings this day carries for you, the different stories sitting behind your eyes right now. I wanted every single one of you to find yourself somewhere in these words. I hope you did. 🌹

Whether today was joyful, heavy, complicated or quiet for you, it is valid. Whatever you felt today is the right thing to have felt. There is no correct way to experience Mother's Day. There is only your way. And your way deserves space and softness and love.

Take care of yourself today, sunnies. Give yourself the tenderness you so freely give to everyone else. You have earned it a thousand times over. Happy Belated Mother's Day, to every single one of you. 💛

🌸 ✦ 🌹 ✦ 🌸

This Corner Was Built for All of You

soft, honest, always here, just like you deserve

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