Just Start with What You Have: Romanticizing the Dream with Reality

"Because loving yourself doesn’t need a bathtub or a luxury shelf. It just needs you."

The dream life you crave doesn’t need a big budget — just a soft heart and the courage to begin

When My Journal Gave Me a Wake-Up Call...

Hey Sunny,💛

Sometime last week, I found myself deep in one of my favorite rituals: scenario journaling. Now, I haven’t shared much about it here yet (don’t worry, I will), but if you’ve been tuning into my podcast Navigating life diaries under the segment Books Don't Judge, you’ve probably heard me talk about it in detail. For those who haven’t — scenario journaling is where I write out the most magical, delusional, softest versions of my life. It's like scripting, but for the soul. I imagine days filled with everything I love — from having a glass bathroom with a rain head shower, to soaking in a tub surrounded by candles, to using luxurious skincare that smells like heaven and costs a small fortune.

On that particular day, I wrote about a dreamy pamper routine. Picture this: me in a silk robe, sipping fruit-infused water, candles flickering around a tub as I soak in the soft scent of lavender and vanilla. The twist? My real life looks nothing like that. I don’t live in a house with a tub, or a marble sink, or a shower that mimics rainfall. I can’t afford most of the products I wrote about either. But here’s the plot twist — I didn’t let that stop me.

That Weekend? A Soft Girl Survival Mission

"I didn’t have the money, but I had the magic."

Lat weekend felt like a mini mission — a gentle, self-led retreat. After writing that scenario journal entry about my dream pamper day, I decided to stop waiting for the “perfect” life and create the mood with what I had. It was nothing like the luxury I had imagined, but in my little corner of the world, I made magic.

I ran a warm shower and gave myself the softest cleanse. I used my affordable but trusted products, layered my favorite lotion like silk, and wrapped my hair in a towel like I was in a spa commercial. I applied a mask I had saved for weeks and danced to my comfort playlist while I waited. Then I made a cocktail — not from a fancy bar, but from scratch in my kitchen. I mixed what I had, added fruit slices, and poured it into my favorite glass like it was a celebration.

I sipped it slowly. I exhaled. I felt held.

The next morning, I woke up with a small hangover but an even bigger smile. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough. And that’s the whole point — it’s not about chasing perfection. It’s about choosing softness when the world feels harsh. It’s about finding beauty in the chaos, comfort in the ordinary.

So no, I may not have had a rain shower or a hotel robe or a bathtub with flower petals — but I had peace. I had myself. And that, my love, was more than enough.

Delulu But Grounded: Making the Dream Real (With What I’ve Got) ...

"Romanticizing your life doesn’t need a budget, just a bit of imagination."

Sure, my pamper routines don’t look like the ones in my scenario journal — not exactly. But they’re still mine. I don’t wait until I can afford the expensive scrubs or imported oils. I don’t wait for a spa. I take the products I do have — the local body scrub I bought at a kiosk, my budget-friendly face mask, the single candle from the supermarket — and I make a night of it. I play my favorite playlist, make a cocktail from scratch with what’s in my fridge, and take the longest shower possible. Sometimes I even light incense and pretend my shower head is rain falling on a cabin roof. Dramatic? Maybe. Healing? Absolutely.

That’s the magic — turning what you have into what you need. Not everything needs to be Pinterest-perfect or luxury-coded. It just needs to feel good to you.

You Don’t Have to Wait to Afford It...

"Reality may not be perfect, but it’s still yours—love it gently."

I’ll say this as gently but firmly as I can: you don’t have to feel bad for not being able to afford the lifestyle you dream about. You don’t have to feel guilty for romanticizing your life with a packet of instant coffee instead of a Nespresso, or with drugstore lip balm instead of a Dior lip oil.

You’ll get there. Truly, you will. But while you're on the journey, please don’t rob yourself of joy because it doesn’t look a certain way.

Instead, do this:

Soft Girl Substitutes: It’s the Feeling, Not the Price Tag...

"Start with what you have. Your dream life is waiting inside your current one."

You don’t have to break the bank to feel like that girl. Here's how to create soft magic with what you already have:

• No bathtub? Soak your feet in a basin with warm water, some salt, a drop of essential oil (or even your shower gel), and soft music playing in the background. Instant calm.

• Can’t afford luxury face masks? Use what’s in your kitchen — honey, oats, or yogurt. Or grab your favorite affordable store-bought one and apply it like its gold.

• No scented candles from fancy brands? Use any candle you have. Light it with love. Let it melt the stress away — it’s the ritual that matters, not the label.

• Craving a fancy cocktail? Mix juice with soda, add a slice of fruit, and pour it into a glass that makes you feel special. Set the mood with your favorite playlist.

• Can't do a spa day? Take a slow shower. Scrub gently. Moisturize with care. Talk kindly to your body. You don’t need petals and a marble bathroom to feel worthy.

• No budget for movie dates? Create one at home. Dim the lights, wear your comfiest outfit, make popcorn, and put on your comfort movie. It's still a date — with yourself.

• Can’t dine out right now? Make a cute meal at home. Set the table, add a napkin, light a candle, or play a café ambience on YouTube. Treat it like an experience.

• Want a cute café vibe for journaling or reading? Go outside with a notebook and a flask of tea. Sit under a tree. Or stay in and play background café sounds. Cozy is a mindset.

• Can’t afford new skincare or body care products? Use what you have, but use it with love and intention. It’s how you apply it — not what it is.

• Dreaming of a full self-care day? Piece it together slowly. Do one soft thing at a time: a shower, a stretch, a cup of tea, a journal session. Softness lives in the small.

✨ Remember: You don’t need to spend a lot to feel loved, beautiful, or at peace. You just need to show up for yourself — in the quiet, everyday ways. Softness is not a luxury. It’s your birthright.

To the Sunny Reading This

"Waiting for the perfect moment is how joy gets delayed. Start small but start now."

If your life doesn’t look like what you write in your journal — that’s okay. If you don’t have the Pinterest bathroom, or the skincare shelfie, or the airy apartment with sage and sunlight — you’re still worthy of softness. Start where you are. Celebrate with what you have.

Use the cheap candle. Wear the knock-off robe. Make the TikTok cocktail with whatever juice is in the fridge. This is your life — and it can be magical, not because it’s perfect, but because it’s yours.

Don’t wait to feel like you’re enough. You already are. 🌸

Want More Sunny Rituals?

✨ Follow me on Instagram [@_.selfcare_diary] for daily softness, chaos, and cozy rituals🎙 And if you love hearing me ramble and open my heart, you’ll adore my podcast — Navigating life diaries — streaming now everywhere you get your podcasts